Work Hard, Fly Standby

"Oh you work for the airlines? Can you get me a free/discounted ticket?"

Sure, i'll give you a free one. Standby. Sounds great, doesn't it? Until you figure out what standby means. Standby means you stand by and wait until the plane fills up with paying customers. After everyone is on board and if any seats are still open(middle seats), stand by gets to sit in between your two new buddies. Sound good? Now, when there are multiple standby's there is a pecking order. First come, first serve. First one on the standby list gets to go first. Best shot of getting on fully booked flights, are the first flights of the day. No problem. Just show up super early for the super early flight, which is usually around 6am. Easy, right? Now, if for some reason, there was bad weather or huge delays the night before and a bunch of people could not get out and had to stay the night waiting for their flights... guess who goes first? After all, the did pay for a ticket, so it'd only be right to send them out on the next available flight... right? Standby.

Flying standby on an empty or half full plane is the single most best case scenario. Take a guess when these flights usually take place. Generally, the best time to fly standby are on Tuesdays or Wednesdays during Oct, Feb, Mar, May & June - which just so happen to be my favorite times to work! "But what about during holidays and my vacation?" you stupidly ask. "What about Apr, Jul, Aug, Sep, Nov, Dec & Jan?" We full. Take a shot. Roll the dice. Maybe you get on, maybe you don't. Sounds rough, huh? Paying for a ticket sounds better, doesn't it? At the very least, you get to pick what time you want to fly, on the day(s) you prefer and even get to plan!

Free-schmee... It's one thing if family and friends ask me for a free/discounted airline ticket, it's another when someone i just met goes, "Oh! You work for the airlines, so you can get me a free flight?!" That's where i measure your depth with the underside of my shoes. It's a great perk, though. I love my job and i love to fly free. I fly standby to and from work every week and rarely to travel. If i have to work early, i fly standby the day before and pay for a hotel room out of my own pocket. If i fly late and finish too late or can't get on a standby flight home, i "sleep" in the airport until the following morning.

Standby, schmandby. It's July 3rd, the day before the big holiday and we can't get on a flight from Oakland to Seattle. I can do jumpseat, which is easy... but my wife on standby, not so easy. And i work here! Don't you know who i am?! Haha. That's a 2hr non-stop flight. No stops in between, no changing planes... just one non-stop flight from here to there. That's it. All full. We'll try again early tomorrow. Can you imagine if i was trying to get from Los Angeles to Ft. Lauderdale during the month of April? During spring break season? Can you imagine two standby passengers? Or even a group of five?! I've heard of a party of five traveling standby from San Diego to Orlando. Two flew to Kansas City, two to San Antonio, one to Houston and then met up 3hrs apart in Orlando. They were lucky because they arrived to their destination on the same day. I hate the stress. I'd rather buy a ticket during peak season or fly on tuesday in October.

I need a bumper sticker. Work Hard, Fly Standby.